7/7/2015 (week 36/104)

Giorno tutti!
This week was definitely an eventful one! Transfer calls came and Anziano Mastino and I will be staying together for another transfer here in Varese but the two sisters have changed. Now, we have a sister coming in from Busto Arsizio (in our district hahaha) and she will be training a bright-eyed greenie! Good stuff!!! We are getting pretty lucky here.
So, this week was fourth of July also and one of our members decided to have an event for it, so we gathered together all the american supplies that we could, and headed to the church to have the event! The event consisted of singing american songs, american jeopardy, and eating foods such as hot dogs and baked beans and such. Where they got the canned baked beans, american style, I have no idea…… The cool part though was that our branch mission leader’s friend from the States came to Italy and joined but also another american family who was friends with one of our Sorelle came to surprise her, so it was FULL of americans. Happy fourth guys.

Other than that, we have still been meeting all the crazy people in the town what seems like every day, (where they come from beats me) and just taking things one day at a time.

Cultural Bit: To eat pasta that has been cooked in unsalted water is one of the worst things you can possibly do, and some Italians will even spit it out at your face. They know if you didn’t add it. They know.

Spiritual bit: The essence of the gospel is to change people. To bring about a “mighty change of heart” and to help people feel a happiness, a fulfillment, a depth of living that they never thought possible. It must be taken on faith at first because you will not know what it is supposed to feel like but once you taste it, it will become “delicious” to you.

I have been seeing this change slowly throughout my life, but it has been so much different and so much quicker out here. At the beginning of the mission I felt such an inadequacy and felt like I would NEVER be a good missionary and that I was disappointing God, honestly. Now, Its completely the opposite. I KNOW that I am making Him proud and that I am still inadequate, but in a different way. I can’t do this on my own but I know that He is picking up my slack and making the difference. I am inadequate but I now rely on Him. and have confidence in Him, and pride in Him.

Now, I feel happy. Profoundly so. I have never felt a happiness so full and so deep in my life. It just seeps into my very soul and brightens up even the darkest of circumstances. For about 10 years I have had depression and have had such a struggle with finding fulfilment and happiness in life but now, I have found it to a degree that I never imagined. That I never dreamed. I have been changed so much and I NEVER want to go back to what I was. Of course, I’m the same me but I’m just happy, feel more love and patience for people, and yearn to seek the happiness out of every moment given to me. I have tasted the goodness, and though I have tasted it many times before in my life I have now found out that it can grow. It is not a static happiness.

As for God, wow, I have such a personal relationship that is much closer than I EVER thought it could’ve been. I no longer feel like I say prayers, but that we have conversations. We have made memories together and our relationship is unique. My eyes have been opened to see the individual and unceasing hand in all matters of my life and I trust Him so much more.

We invite all men [and women] to taste of this goodness and come to see life for what it is, and what it can be: good. To an extent that you never imagined. This is because, as the Lord says in Isaiah, “My ways are not thy ways” and the things of the Lord are so much grander and brighter than we have right now, and we have a lot of happiness awaiting if we follow His instructions.

I say this in His name, amen.
Anziano Squire


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